You have a chance to start from scratch. The move gives the opportunity to restart in many areas. Your marriage is one of them. Sometimes moving keeps you away from things that have been harmful to your marriage.
A new location means an opportunity to rebuild what you really want and more easily remove what you don't want. You want to give your marriage space to thrive, especially if it is now in crisis. But you also need to act intelligently, systematically, and in a way that protects you and your children if the worst happens. Hopefully, you'll find that your move, wherever it takes you, brings you satisfaction and happiness.
Houston-based writer Jenny Block, author of the upcoming publication “Be That Unicorn. Find your magic, live your truth and share your shine, he left his home in Dallas to be with his now wife, and he agrees. Moving “doesn't fix a crappy relationship*,” Block said. Too many people do big things like having a baby or moving in an attempt to rescue a relationship, she said.
This is for people who really want to be together. If you realize that you have moved in with your partner too soon, there is no shame in moving and retreating back to your own space. That doesn't mean you're taking a step back; rather, it could mean that you're making a healthy decision to save your relationship. In an essay for XoJane, an anonymous writer shared her own experience of moving out of the house she shared with her partner, who had moved in six months into the relationship.
If your spouse doesn't want to move despite the likely advantages, consider a compromise; suggest a temporary move. After living here for a year, my spouse wanted to return to southwest Florida, since his brother moved there. Even though this move would be better financially and medically (since she needs treatment), most of her family is here, and she has some close friends she has known since she first moved from the Philippines. I did all this research on where to move and as I shared everything I learned with her she was as excited as I was to move.
If you are already threatening to divorce before the move, as you seem to have little regard for your needs, he will surely divorce you once he is in your support zone after the move. I'm probably the best after a move, but adding an unemployed, angry husband who doesn't trust me and a teenager who is totally against moving makes it less interesting. When my husband and I started dating, one of his main “deal breakers” was wanting to move to Texas, where his parents were planning to move. Being honest about how much money you make and how much you can spend on a move is an important step in avoiding the temptation to resort to credit cards and debt to finance your move.
The move went ahead, the builders, despite being chosen with care, really caused the move of the house of hell, with some problems that persist, including alarms that go off randomly and make me worry about electricity.
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